When you made an action, everybody
will react.
Just like the 3rd
Newton Principles, Action = -Reaction.
Every action will cause a reaction with an exact energy but in an
opposite direction. That’s why when we
act, we will get some reaction, and some of them will be in the opposite.
And when I made a decision,
people surround me gave reactions. Some
said that I’m stupid, some said that I’m selfish, some might said that I’m
brave, some doubt I’d survive, some other felt pity for me, and some part of
them (who knows me best) said that they understand and they support me.
I’m not stupid absolutely. I know myself better than any other does, and
when I think it’s enough, I will finish it.
And the other reasons will follow.
I have think about it over and over, I wrote down notes, and then I pray,
and when there’s no more solution, I will take it. I’m not little Miss Spoil and Selfish, I fully
realize that my life is not only about me, that’s why I can’t be selfish, and I
never feel sorry to have such destiny.
I’m not playing hero. I have no intention to be a hero. But I have to be brave. Brave enough to embrace whatever happen
next. Maybe some people will doubt I’d
survive, but they never know, neither do I.
So why they bothering about my future, when they already have theirs to
worry about. And please don’t feel pity,
I’m not that pitiful. I passed some
problems that maybe some other never dreams about. And I’m strong enough to stand with my head
held up high. Believe me.
Lucky me, I have such amazing
family and friends that never judge me. Because
they trust me. They know I’d never do
something without some good reasons. And
that’s all I need. Trust. And I can trust them back. To catch me when I fall, to hold me when I fly
to high.
And my God. Another bigger reason. Atheist may say I’m crazy, to believe in
something I never know and I never see. But
should it be seen when I feel it everywhere.
When I know, everywhere I go, whatever I did wrong, I could always be
forgiven and I would guided to find my way back. Faith.
I hope it would never go away.
Tak usah kita pikirkan ujung
perjalanan ini.
Saat saya memutuskan melangkah
keluar dan meninggalkan tempat yang mendewasakan saya selama tiga tahun
terakhir, saya hanya menerima, menerima apapun yang dikatakan orang lain. Menerima apa yang mereka pikirkan, menerima
takdir yang menuliskan demikian.
Tiga tahun itu, yang diwarnai
dengan begitu banyak pelajaran yang berarti. Perjumpaan, perpisahan, persahabatan, pertengkaran, tawa, air mata, kebencian, pengkhianatan,
dan cinta. Manusia dengan sifatnya
masing-masing. Manusia dengan
kepentingannya masing-masing. Manusia dengan
hati yang berwarna-warni. Kadang putih,
kadang hitam, kadang abu-abu. Sungguh banyak
yang telah saya lihat.
Dan ketika saya harus pergi, saya
akan pergi dengan hati yang lapang. Dengan
rasa lega karena hati saya telah berkata cukup, dan seperti kata-kata dari
seorang sahabat “sudah saatnya kamu mencari kebahagiaan di tempat yang lain.”
Thanks to Aulia Rachman, for those last words in the note.
