Aksi = - Reaksi

When you made an action, everybody will react.

Just like the 3^rd Newton Principles, Action = -Reaction.  Every action will cause a reaction with an exact energy but in an opposite direction.  That’s why when we act, we will get some reaction, and some of them will be in the opposite. 

And when I made a decision, people surround me gave reactions.  Some said that I’m stupid, some said that I’m selfish, some might said that I’m brave, some doubt I’d survive, some other felt pity for me, and some part of them (who knows me best) said that they understand and they support me.

I’m not stupid absolutely.  I know myself better than any other does, and when I think it’s enough, I will finish it.  And the other reasons will follow.  I have think about it over and over, I wrote down notes, and then I pray, and when there’s no more solution, I will take it.  I’m not little Miss Spoil and Selfish, I fully realize that my life is not only about me, that’s why I can’t be selfish, and I never feel sorry to have such destiny.

I’m not playing hero.  I have no intention to be a hero.  But I have to be brave.  Brave enough to embrace whatever happen next.  Maybe some people will doubt I’d survive, but they never know, neither do I.  So why they bothering about my future, when they already have theirs to worry about.  And please don’t feel pity, I’m not that pitiful.  I passed some problems that maybe some other never dreams about.  And I’m strong enough to stand with my head held up high.  Believe me.

Lucky me, I have such amazing family and friends that never judge me.  Because they trust me.  They know I’d never do something without some good reasons.  And that’s all I need.  Trust.  And I can trust them back.  To catch me when I fall, to hold me when I fly to high.  

And my God.  Another bigger reason.  Atheist may say I’m crazy, to believe in something I never know and I never see.  But should it be seen when I feel it everywhere.  When I know, everywhere I go, whatever I did wrong, I could always be forgiven and I would guided to find my way back.  Faith.  I hope it would never go away.

Tak usah kita pikirkan ujung perjalanan ini.

Saat saya memutuskan melangkah keluar dan meninggalkan tempat yang mendewasakan saya selama tiga tahun terakhir, saya hanya menerima, menerima apapun yang dikatakan orang lain.  Menerima apa yang mereka pikirkan, menerima takdir yang menuliskan demikian.

Tiga tahun itu, yang diwarnai dengan begitu banyak pelajaran yang berarti.  Perjumpaan, perpisahan, persahabatan, pertengkaran, tawa, air mata, kebencian, pengkhianatan, dan cinta.  Manusia dengan sifatnya masing-masing.  Manusia dengan kepentingannya masing-masing.  Manusia dengan hati yang berwarna-warni.  Kadang putih, kadang hitam, kadang abu-abu.  Sungguh banyak yang telah saya lihat.

Dan ketika saya harus pergi, saya akan pergi dengan hati yang lapang.  Dengan rasa lega karena hati saya telah berkata cukup, dan seperti kata-kata dari seorang sahabat “sudah saatnya kamu mencari kebahagiaan di tempat yang lain.” 

Thanks to Aulia Rachman, for those last words in the note.