I have a friend
with a sceptical issue. Dia sulit
mempercayai sesuatu – atau seseorang.
We’ve been discussing things related to the issue. Awalnya saya mengira dia seorang yang
arogan. Karena saya pikir, salah satu
hal yang membuat kita tidak bisa mempercayai sesuatu – atau seseorang adalah karena kita merasa menjadi yang paling benar,
sehingga tidak bisa mempercayai pendapat orang lain.
But then I
remember myself.
I used to be
someone like that too. And that’s
because I felt insecure. Banyak orang
mengira saya menjalani kehidupan yang manis dan selalu menyenangkan. But hey, every fairy tale has its own sad part
too. Saya mungkin terlihat tenang dan
menyenangkan. Tapi ada masanya saya
tidak berlaku seperti saya saat ini. Ada Ada Ada Ada kan
And for that
insecurities I’ve been tied to, now I release it one by one. Mungkin karena pengaruh usia, saya mulai bisa
berpikir dengan tenang. Mengurai satu
per satu semua rasa sakit yang pernah saya alami. Mencoba berpikir dari semua sisi dengan
segala kemungkinan yang ada. Beberapa
mungkin tidak akan pernah saya temukan jawabannya, namun setidaknya hati saya
kini lebih ringan, dan pembangunan benteng di hati saya pun vakum.
Apa yang membuat saya berubah pikiran? Sayangnya saya tidak bisa menjawab bahwa itu
adalah seseorang yang spesial yang mampu mengubah hidup saya, no, because I
haven’t met that someone yet. Saya
merasa, saya mulai berubah saat bertemu dengan teman-teman baik saya saat
ini. Sharing stories – good and bad, funny
and sad – thinking about things from our seven perspectives, laughing and
crying together, and building our trust once again. I said once again, because we had that pure
trust when we were children. And I
remember a quote “Everyone in life is gonna hurt you, you just have to figure
out which people are worth the pain.”
It’s quite right, I don’t want to hold on to pain because someone that
just not worth it. Someone that’s just
not worth enough being in my mind.
Memang tidak
mudah menemukan seseorang yang membuat kita merasa aman disisinya. Yang membuat kita tetap merasa aman saat kita
menceritakan rahasia tergelap kita. Yang
membuat kita merasa aman hanya dengan mengetahui dia akan tetap ada disana,
dengan seluruh trauma dan kepahitan yang pernah kita alami. Yang akan mengingatkan siapa diri kita
sebenarnya saat kita berubah menjadi orang lain. Yang akan senantiasa menyebut nama kita dalam
doa-doanya. Because two places are the
most valuable in this world; the nicest place is to be in someone’s thoughts,
and the safest place is to be in someone’s prayers.
And I always hope
there’s someone that says my name in their prayers. Because I know then I’ll be safe.
PS. I suddenly
remember a beautiful song from Rivermaya – You’ll be Safe Here
"Nobody knows
Just why we're here
Could it be fate
Or random circumstance
At the right place
At the right time
Two roads intertwine
And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives
To make us
Fuel and fire
Then know
Where ever you will be
So too shall I be
Chorus:
Close your eyes
Dry your tears
'Coz when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here
Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/r/rivermaya/youll_be_safe_here.html ]
And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe
Chorus:
When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here
Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything's unclear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart
When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here
In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You'll be safe here
When no one understands
I'll believe
You'll be safe,
You'll be safe
You'll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You'll be safe here"
Just why we're here
Could it be fate
Or random circumstance
At the right place
At the right time
Two roads intertwine
And if the universe conspired
To meld our lives
To make us
Fuel and fire
Then know
Where ever you will be
So too shall I be
Chorus:
Close your eyes
Dry your tears
'Coz when nothing seems clear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Weary heart
You'll be safe here
Remember how we laughed
Until we cried
At the most stupid things
Like we were so high
But love was all that we were on
We belong
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/r/rivermaya/youll_be_safe_here.html ]
And though the world would
Never understand
This unlikely union
And why it still stands
Someday we will be set free.
Pray and believe
Chorus:
When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here
Save your eyes
From your tears
When everything's unclear
You'll be safe here
From the sheer weight
Of your doubts and fears
Wounded heart
When the light disappears
And when this world's insincere
You'll be safe here
When nobody hears you scream
I'll scream with you
You'll be safe here
In my arms
Through the long cold night
Sleep tight
You'll be safe here
When no one understands
I'll believe
You'll be safe,
You'll be safe
You'll be safe here
Put your heart in my hands
You'll be safe here"
download this song here
